


Influenced (Tentative Title)

by star_of_flame_eternal



Series: Things I need to get out of my head - Transformers [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bad Parenting, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Developing Friendships, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Eventual Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Maybe - Freeform, Medical Procedures, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, let's see if i even get that far, perhaps idk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_of_flame_eternal/pseuds/star_of_flame_eternal
Summary: Please read the tags. If any of this bothers you or has the potential to be triggering, do not read this.Summary: Prowl’s overactive processors process everything down to even the air currents against his plating or how silence can be too loud sometimes. But he is too young to be able understand what all the information is, let alone be able to filter out unnecessary information, so it all just bombards his mind and is interpreted as pain. Prowl’s creators aren’t cruel, they just weren’t prepared to have a special needs sparkling and can’t handle it. They try to take him to the medics, but the operations and medications they advise are too expensive and finally, they are so desperate they cave to alternative solutions coming from a not so upstanding clinic. However, the medicine that is prescribed is not in any way safe and starts to cause Prowl to glitch and crash. But his creators feel this is better than his previous fits which were harder to manage. The damage done by the drug makes it impossible for Prowl’s issues to be solved later in the future.
Relationships: Jazz & Prowl, Jazz/Prowl, but who knows the story wants what it wants, just not the slashy part anytime soon
Series: Things I need to get out of my head - Transformers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916224
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. Prowl (backstory)

**Author's Note:**

> Please. Read. The. Tags. And. Summary. I am edging on the side of caution with this fic and if I am missing warning tags you think should have been added, please comment respectfully letting me know. While this fic will not dabble in extremely dark themes, this fic will discuss drug use, abuse, and addiction. It will also discuss family dysfunction that could be construed as child neglect, negligence, or abuse. 
> 
> This is an AU. I tagged all media types, because honestly, I don't think this fic fits into any of them. Please remember this is self-indulgent fan-nonsense and not meant to represent canon in any way. 
> 
> And last but not least, this is a work in progress. It is very rough writing and nowhere near finished. I may go back and edit at some point. I am posting now in the vain hopes of motivating myself to write more. I will post updates sporadically when I get the inspiration to do so. Chapters will probably be very short and will never be updated reliably. I'm sorry.

_  
“Just make him shut up!”_

_Prowl wailed as his origin shoved him against his genitor’s chestplates forcing his geni to grab him harshly to prevent him from falling. He knew they didn’t like it when he cried so much, but he couldn’t help it. All the sights and sounds and touches and smells made his helm swim and his body feel like he was burning._

_“Chryso!”_

_Prowl watched through teary optics as his geni tried to catch up to his ori. But she was too fast and stomped through the habsuite door slamming it as she went out. Then Geni glared at Prowl and he shrank back as much as he could when he was being held so tightly._

_“Why do you have to cry so much? There’s nothing wrong with you.”_

_He tried to stop crying, but he didn’t think he was very successful. His geni kept yelling as he went towards the berthroom._

_“Honest to Primus kid! We feed you, you have consistent recharge, we give you things to play with, what do you possibly have to cry about? Maybe there is something wrong with you.”_

_His genitor sat him abruptly on the berth startling a higher pitch out of his vocalizer._

_“Pit kid, just stop okay! You’re making it so hard on your creators.”_

_Prowl’s little engine whined and he reached out his arms when his progenitor moved away from him._

_“Prowl, I can’t deal with you right now. Just try to settle down okay? Go to sleep.”_

_And with a click of the door sliding shut, Prowl was left alone listening to his creator’s pedesteps fade away._

_\-----_

_“We can’t afford that.”_

_Prowl laid limply on the medberth his helm turned towards his creators and the medic who were talking about him. He wanted to get up but the thing the medic gave him makes his tanks feel a bit queasy and his limbs feel all lead-like. The glint of light that flashes when the medic adjusts his optical enhancers makes him want to flinch, but everything feels like he’s laying in tar._

_“Well, there are other options. Unfortunately, because of the specifications of his problems, they are all rather costly, especially since it isn’t a sensory issue. You could try to file a claim to an insurance agency. I know most mecha don’t need that, but they could be helpful to you.”_

_“We’ve tried that. They all have too many caveats. Most of them won’t accept us because Prowl’s problems are pre-existing and like you said because it isn’t a sensory issue, he doesn’t qualify as special needs.”_

_\------_

_“I just can’t take it anymore, Sweeper!”_

_“Chrys, it’s not his fault. It’s not our fault either.”_

_“I know that! But, we can’t keep going like this! I even tried to contact my family the other day-.”_

_“Oh, Chryso…”_

_Prowl watched from behind the corner of the doorway as his originator’s optics start leaking._

_“They want nothing to do with me. And-and I know they could’ve helped. Before I met you, they talked about how they put aside funds for my future family because it’s important to help future generations thrive.”_

_Prowl’s carrier’s words turned bitter and harsh at the end and his geni wrapped his arms around her._

_“We’ll figure something out.”_

_\-----_

_He huddled into his genitor’s side as he walked quickly down the narrow street. His geni wouldn’t let him walk because it would be too easy to get lost here and they are very far away from home._

_Prowl hasn’t seen his carrier in a while and he’s afraid he won’t see her again, but geni assured him he will, that she’s just on a vacation._

_He whimpered as his geni hitched him up higher against his plating._

_“Hello. Is this Quick’s Clinic?”_

_The place his geni stepped them into is rundown and a little dark. It has lights, but there’s just a hint of shade that makes everything seem darker._

_“Yes, whatcha got there, mech?”_

_“My youngling. There’s something wrong with him, with his processor, but the other medics can’t help. My sparkmate and I, we just can’t afford it. I was told that you were more willing to work with low income family units?”_

_“That’s what you were told, was it?”_

_“Ah, yes. I don’t know by who, I’ll admit, I broke down last week and got talking with a mech who stopped me from driving home overcharged…..please, I came all the way from Petrex on the chance you could help me where other places can’t and I really, really need a solution.”_

_“That’s a bit of a ways away now isn’t it, hmm…...Alright, bring the bit over here.”_

_Prowl was laid down on a medberth. He fussed a little when the medic inserted something into his lines but quickly felt that tar-like sensation overcome him. It was a lot stronger than what the usual medics gave him. But he didn’t feel queasy so maybe it was better. He zoned out as the medic and his geni talked about him.  
_

Beep. Beep. Beep.

_“Ah excuse me. I have another client I need to quick attend.”_

_The metal of the berth was cold. Too cold. The shadows were too dark. The lights were too bright._

_“Hey Prowl. You’ll be okay now.”_

_Why was his geni shouting? Stop please._

_“Hey stop that. Why are you crying now? You were fine just a klik ago.”  
_

Squeak! Bang! _The door opened and closed. And there was a loud wailing sound that just wouldn’t stop. Prowl wanted it to stop._

_“Ah, sorry about that. The other client was waiting for my help for a while.”_

_“It’s fi-”_

_“I see the little thing worked itself up into one of those fits you were telling me about.”_

_“Uh, yeah. I don’t know why.”_

_“Perhaps this is good. I can observe him better in person. Does he always cry like this? Does he get physical at all with you or your mate?”_

_“Ah, yes, er- no. He cries like this a lot. He doesn’t really get physical? I mean, sometimes he’ll slam his servos and kick his pedes against us, but even when he does that he just cries harder and curls up.”_

_“I see.”  
_

Tap. Tap. Tap.

_The sound of the medic typing on a datapad bounced through the room._

_“Ok, I think I have something that can help calm him down.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yes, it is not really hard to get or really expensive as much as it’s not exactly a common medication, you understand.”_

_“Why couldn’t the other medics recommend this?”_

_“Well, as I said. It’s not common and it is also fairly new, and other places are driven by the pharmacies to sell certain products over others.”_

_“And you are not?”_

_Why was everything getting brighter? He couldn’t see his geni or the medic clearly anymore. It looked like their colors were glowing. He wanted to see his geni, but it hurt!_

_“Ah, this clinic prides itself for being independently contracted. If you have hesitations, feel free to look us up on the datanet.”_

_“I have, all the reviews and inspections seemed good.”_

_“Well, are you going to let us help you?”_

_“I- yes.”  
_

Vrrrrrt. _A drawer opened with a small clatter._

_“Okay then. I will apply the chip now so you can see and I can monitor the results now before I send you home.”_

_Prowl felt like his helm was being crushed, but then it wasn’t being crushed anymore. Maybe he could just recharge for a bit, only his optics didn’t want to close. The light didn’t seem so bright though. He still couldn’t move._

_“Hey, he stopped crying.”_

_“Mmm, yes.”_

_“Is he supposed to just lay there like that? He’s not even cycling his optics.”_

_“Well, while the original motor inhibitor I gave him must have worn off by now, this medication acts somewhat like a sedative. Considering he must have been tired from the inhibitor and then spent quite a while in his fit, it is not surprising he’s a little bit out of it right now.”_

_“Oh...but it won’t be like this usually?”_

_“It shouldn’t be unless he previously wears himself out. It should just calm him down enough to prevent him from fitting.”_

_“Oh, so we need to give this to him before he starts?”_

_“It would probably be best for everyone if you did this, yes, because he would not have the chance to get worked up. But if he starts before you can administer it, it is not a problem to give it to him during one.”_

_“Okay. What’s this med called?”_

_“Pyramiine.”_

_\-----_

_Prowl felt much better now. He remembered when he first had to start taking his meds and it was really rough. But now, it was better. He hadn’t had an episode in a while now. And the medic was right, it didn’t make him so tired as long as he wasn’t fatigued before he took it. In fact, the medication seemed to help him. He could focus on his schoolwork even when he took it. His creators thought it may even help him focus more than he usually could._

_\-----_

_“You have dialed 117-023, what’s your emergency?”_

_“Please! I don’t know what happened. One moment he was fine, and then he just fell. He won’t answer me!”_

_“Alright, can you tell me where you are?”_

_“I’m at home! Just get here please!”_

_“Emergency medics are already on their way. Can you tell me about who fell? What’s their designation?”_

_“Prowl! He’s my creation. He was fine!”_

_\-----_

_He was in a medical ward._

_“It seems like the glitch affects his logic centers. You say he has never had this happen before?”_

_“No. I mean, when he was younger he’d have these fits where he would cry for no reason. But he never crashed like this.”_

_“I see. Has he ever taken any drugs or other substances?”_

_“No, never...well, he does take one medication. But it is prescribed to him, and it has never given him this issue before.”_

_“Ok. What medication is it?”_

_“Pryamiine.”_

_“Pyramiine? And you said this is prescribed?”_

_“Yes. Why, is everything okay?”_

_“Well, Pyramiine was banned before it really was open to the public market.”_

_“What? But we looked it up! It never said anything like that! Just that it was new.”_

_“Well, because it was never really released, they wouldn’t have made an announcement about it. Who prescribed that to your creation?”_

_\-----_

_The clinic had been shut down. Prowl’s family had gotten some restitution from the lawsuit that was held against Quick and his practice. However, he couldn’t get his meds anymore. He knew they were bad and had been declared banned, but he needed it! His family needed him to have it! He had failed the secondary academy. His creators were fighting again. And they were angry at him too. But he couldn’t help it when the sounds were too loud and the feelings were too much!_

_\-----_

_Prowl huddled on his berth as he listened to his originator and progenitor talk about him. They thought he was sleeping, but he didn’t have the energy to let them know he was not._

_“He’ll get through this. It’s just an adjustment.”_

_“No, Sweeper. It isn’t. Whatever the medics say, that medication helped him.”_

_It did help him. Prowl felt good when he took his meds._

_“Chryso, even you didn’t want him on it at first. You thought it was suspicious. Now you were proven right and you want him to be on it?”_

_“Maybe it is bad, but you can’t deny that he did so much better on it.”_

_“But the glitches-”_

_“The glitches, the crashing, that’s easy to handle. Even the doctor said the crashes don’t hurt him in the long term. They just shut him down fast. But everything resets and he’s fine.”_

_But the crashes did hurt. They locked up everything and everything ground together. And it messed with his processor._

_“But what if they get worse?”_

_“Can you handle him screaming and fighting us like when he was a sparkling? Only he’s bigger now. He’s almost at his third upgrade.”_

_“Chryso, even if I agreed he needed it again, how could we get it? It’s banned.”_

_“We’ll find it. We have the credits now, and we even have a portion left from what we got out of the lawsuit.”_

_“Chrys, do you hear yourself? What you’re suggesting?”_

_“You took him to that clinic in the first place.”_

_“I didn’t know-”_

_“Oh don’t give me that, Sweeper. You waited until I was gone before you took him there. You knew I’d have never let you.”_

_“Chryso, please just stop.”_

_“Whatever. I’ll deal with it.”_

_\-----_

_Prowl’s head rested on his desk in his berthroom. It was a bad night. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. But if he cried his frame would hurt. And if he screamed his audials would hurt. He wanted to hit something. But that also would hurt. He wished he could just go away._

_He tried not to look in his desk drawer._

_But it was raining and the acid drops rattled against the roof plating and sounded like gunshots. The desk was too hard and cold, but it was too hot in his berth._

_He reached for his drawer._

_But, he knew he shouldn’t. His genitor didn’t want him to. He really tried not to. But his origin was also right. He felt miserable._

_He opened the drawer._

_He reached in the back and pulled on a latch. He felt the capsule bottle fall into his servo._

_The sound of gunshots faded.  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not a sensory issue per se for Prowl, not in the way the medics label it. Because it is a result of his overactive processor analyzing everything, nothing shows up on the sensory tests, so his creators can't qualify him for that kind of aid. Also, it’s not that the drug helps him be smart and focus, it actually dulled his processor. But because he could never filter the info his processor constantly analyzed, and without that overwhelming info, the result of the drug made it seem like it was helping.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jazz is also hypersensitive in some ways, but has a much more stable and welcoming home life. His genitor Jig raises him singly after his sparkmate Crusher dies in a highway accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter, but more lighthearted than last chapter. I wanted to write more but I couldn't think of anything. Maybe I'll expand at some point.

_  
“Why are ya cryin’ bitty?”_

_Jazz whimpered as all the lights in the habsuite intensified their glare until it felt like his eyes were gonna burst. His genitor held him tightly and bounced him gently trying to calm him down. He wished it didn’t hurt so much. He knew it made his geni sad when he cried. He just couldn’t help it though._

_“Come on, Jazzy. S’alright, shu.”_

_Jazz sniffled as he shuttered his optics and pressed his servos over them. He leaned in as he felt his geni’s servo pet him on the helm and he tried to push closer to his geni’s plating._

_“Hey there, ya push any closer and yer gonna knock me over.”_

_He tilted his helm and looked up at his geni. At first all he saw was his servo until he moved it away. His geni gave him a smile, optics dimmed, and hummed his engine softly. He tried to hum his own back._

_“That’s it bit. Ya wanna sing somethin’ ?”_

_Jazz pointed towards the berthroom door and was happy when his geni started walking towards it continuing to hum. He wanted to cuddle. He was about to close his optics when something caught his attention. He pointed at the open window instead._

_“Ya wanna go over there? Alright.”_

_They didn’t live in a big city with a ton of lights. They did live in a big city and they lived in a part of the city where everybot was squashed together. But there weren’t many lights. Even so, what light there was still made Jazz’ optic sensors throb. He looked up instead. There were lights in the sky. But they weren’t bright. He could look at them._

_“Ya lookin’ at the stars, bitlet? Pretty ain’t they._

“Stars over my helm, white and topaz, in misty realm,” _his geni sang in a quiet voice._

_Jazz stared at the tiny flickering lights in the sky that somehow didn’t bother him._

“Myriads with beating sparks of fire, that aeons cannot vex nor tire.”

_The two of them stood at the window until recharge called._

_\-----_

_“I can’t afford that kind of operation.”_

_Jazz swung his pedes back and forth from the edge of the medberth, his helm turned towards his creator and the medic who were talking about him. He wanted to get up, he liked moving, but his creator promised him an energon goodie if he stayed still and behaved for the medibots. The glint of light that flashes when the medic adjusts her optical enhancers is reduced by the flimsy shade tinted thing she gave him to put over his optics. It’s a little big and keeps sliding down, but as long as he keeps pushing it back up, the lights are easier to handle._

_“Is there somethin’ like, maybe somethin’ to pu’over his optics, like what ya gave ‘im today, but more permanent.”_

_“Well, perhaps a visor may help, it’s a minor operation compared to the other one, more of an installment. I’ll admit this isn’t exactly my expertise, though I can schedule you with another medic over who does know more?”_

_“Yeah, please”_

_“Alright, give me a klik.”_

_The medic typed stuff up on her datapad. His geni walked over to him and slid the temporary optic covers back in place. Jazz grinned at him. He geni looked back over at the medic to ask a question._

_“Can we keep these shades with us?”_

_\-----_

_“Jazz, it’s time ta go!”_

_Jazz waved a servo at his geni before hopping off the playset and quickly turning back to his friend._

_“Ah’ve gotta go see the medics. They’re gonna help make the lights not hurt anymore, but we gotta see what kinda thing they can give me.”_

_“Tha’s great, Jazz! I hope they help you!”_

_“Ya, see ya, Rico!”_

_\-----_

_“Jig and Jazz? Please come on back. We’re ready for you.”_

_Jazz held his geni’s servo as they walked back to a medroom together. He helped him get up on the medberth as the medic came over._

_“Alright, so the issue is a severe light sensitivity, yes? There is also marked a sensitivity to sound, but it is not hampering his ability to function._

_“Yeah.”_

_“I like when I can hear everything.”_

_“You do?” the medic looked over at Jazz._

_“Ya, I can hear little ‘armonies an’ echos when Geni’s singin’ ta me.”_

_“Alright then, just your optics are giving you trouble though.”_

_“Ya.” Jazz dropped his helm, but his geni rubbed it affectionately and Jazz felt better._

_“Okay, so we have a couple of options. There is a visor that blocks light levels above a certain threshold that can be adjusted. It is cheaper, it’s a level one installation, however some people have reported that it can block important light signals that flash brighter than that threshold such as traffic signals. It wouldn’t be a problem at his current age, but once he starts to learn how to drive, you would probably need to upgrade it to this other kind which acts more like a filter than a blocker.”_

_“Okay and how does that one work?”_

_“Basically it senses lights at all levels of intensity and lets lower light levels in fully, but censors higher luminosity and filters it down to a manageable level. He would still be able to see everything without the risk of blocking any kind of light sensitive information.”_

_“What level installation s’it?_

_“Unfortunately, it is a level three installation. However, if you file an insurance claim for special needs and it is approved, that could bring it down more closely to a level one though it won’t be as budget friendly as the other visor.”_

_“Would insurance cover the costs of the other one?”_

_“It may, there still might be a small copay, but it would most likely cover most of it.”_

_“Alright, let’s do tha blockin’ one for now, and I’ll work on getting the funds for an upgrade for when he gets an alt.”_

_“Okay, then,” the medic smiles warmly at Jazz._

_\-----_

_“Jazz!”_

_“Rico!”_

_“Ya got yer new optics!”_

_“I’s called a visor, Rico. Hey! What er ya doin’ ? Get yer servos off’a my face!”_

_“It’s so smooth and dark. Did they take your optics out? I can’t see ‘em anymore.”_

_“What? No!”_

_“Come on! Let’s go play!”_

_“Okay!”_

_“Betcha can’t catch me, new optics er not!”_

_\-----_

_Jazz was pretending to be asleep as he listened to his geni talk with Rico’s. He had woken up when his friend had rolled over on the berth and kicked him in his sleep._

_“You gotta stop overworkin’ yerself, Jig.”_

_“I know, but I need to save enough so I can get Jazz what he needs. He’ll need something better when he’s upgraded with an alt-form.”_

_“Well, ya aren’t gonna be able to do that if you fall inta stasis from lack of recharge, fuel, and a mind to know when enough is enough.”_

_Jazz onlines his optical suite to its lowest setting when he doesn’t hear anymore voices, but shuts it down again when he hears his geni sigh._

_“Ya sound just like my 'junx.”_

_“She woulda been proud of ya, Jig.”_

_“Yer's woulda been proud of ya too, Twist, for puttin' up wit' a bot like me,” His genitor huffed out a laugh. Jazz fell back into recharge._

_\-----_

_“Alright, we’re just gonna put you in stasis for a bit and then when we bring you back online, you’ll be newly upgraded and ready to start driving with your genitor.”_

_“M’kay.”_

_“Are you excited?” the medic asked as he prepped._

_“Ya, I wanna drive! And ya’ll be putting the new visor on too so Ah don’t miss the important lights, right?_

_“Yes, indeed. Alright, just lay back and we’ll get started.”_

_\-----_

_Jazz revved his engine as he raced his geni and Rico around the learner’s track. He was so happy now. He rarely had problems with his light sensory input and was doing a lot better. And driving was the bestest thing ever. And racing was even better than that. He didn’t like school so much though. But he tried to keep his scores up or his geni would limit his driving abilities. And he really liked driving. Last time he slacked off in the academy his geni wouldn’t let drive more than a block away from their habsuite._

_\-----_

_“Rico, I’m so sorry.”_

_“Ah don’t understand why Ah just can’t go live with you.”_

_“The advocate says my geni doesn’t make enough credits. I wish you could live with us.”_

_“Yah, well now I’m just gonna be shipped off to some strange center wit’ a whole buncha others.”_

_“Maybe somebots will adopt ya.”_

_“But Ah don’t wanna go live with some strangers!”_

_“Well, we might not be able ta let ya live with us, but I’ll always like ya like a brother.”_

_“Yeah, yer the best brother, Jazz.”_

_\-----_

_Jazz read over the message he typed up to his friend. They lived too far away from each other now and they couldn’t meet up anymore like they used to. But they wrote to each other a lot. Ricochet wasn’t as happy but he didn’t seem to be doing badly at least. But maybe he was just good at covering it up. Jazz did his best to cheer his brother-in-spark up as much as possible, and the last message made Jazz giddy. Rico was going to attend the same Academy he was enrolling in! They’d see each other soon hopefully._

_\-----_

_“Bye Geni!”_

_“See ya, Jazz. You behave, now.”_

_“Awww, but look at all these opportunities to-”_

_“Jazz, I love ya, but I don’t wanna see you home before the end of the semester.”_

_“Have some faith in me, Geni.”_

_“I do have faith in you, faith that you and Rico will prank every new bot you see.”_

_“Aww, love ya too, Geni.”  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song lyrics adapted from Erik Esenvalds _Stars_ , it’s a gorgeous piece of music…... though Jig probably didn’t sing that tune, think more like Phantom’s _Angel of Music_ kinda tune but less dramatic lol. As for the thing the medic gave Jazz during that appointment, think of the roll up shades the eye doctor gives you after dilating your eyes.
> 
> I apologize for Ricochet barging into Jazz’ backstory. I didn’t plan for anyone but Jazz and his genitor to be there. 
> 
> Idk when I'll post next, but the plan is that next up is the start of the actual story where Jazz meets Prowl. This is their journey together whether they like it or not.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love kudos, comments and/or concrit. Please be respectful and I will glady talk to you about my thoughts :)
> 
> Please do not copy or post my work anywhere. If you are inspired by my work, please credit me where credit is due and I would love to read whatever you come up with.


End file.
